Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
