thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
