Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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