"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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