You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
