Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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