he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
