we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
