I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
