i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
