when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
