Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She bit a glass in half.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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