you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
