turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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