I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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