One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
