you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
