Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
