No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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