have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
