I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
