Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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