walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
