They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
