This girl is more easily done than said...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
