I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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