doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
