my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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