I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
i now understand why vodka
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
