i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Found your dick twin last night
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
