bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
