I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
