So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
