I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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