Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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