I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
