Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
