Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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