K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
And then he peed in my hair
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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