hell yes lets make some ravioli
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
