my mouth tastes like poor choices
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
