So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
