You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
