He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
