Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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