just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
