What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
