You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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