you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
