Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
