my room smells like sperm. sweet.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
