come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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