I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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