Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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