theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
