so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
